What Would You Do? The Bilingual Parenting Debate

One mom went viral after saying she refuses to switch languages when speaking to her kids, even around people who don’t understand.

That got us thinking…

Is that rude or are parents protecting their kids’ connection to language and culture?

In this episode, we talk bilingual parenting, Spanglish, family expectations, in-laws, identity, and the pressure to make everyone comfortable.

We also share YOUR poll responses and ask:

👉 What would YOU do?

Comment below—we want to hear your take.

New What Would You Do Wednesdays episodes monthly 💛

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

So we saw this video the other day on social media. This mom came on saying that she is predominantly speaking Spanish to her kids. Actually, she only speaks Spanish to her children. She does speak English, but that when she is around other people that do not speak Spanish, she does not switch the language to appease them, right? She sticks to her Spanish. And we were wondering: do you guys think this is rude or do you think this is the correct way? What would you do Wednesdays? This is our topic for today.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Welcome to Mama's Playground. What would you do Wednesday?

SPEAKER_00 0:39

What would you do Wednesdays? This is a new segment of our show. We're gonna try to do this every last Wednesday, but if we don't, it's gonna be one Wednesday a month. So we'll we'll hit you up and we'll let you know when that's going to be.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

But it's basically taking a story we find on social media or anything that our friend comes and tells us about. Um things that make you wonder, like, hmm, what would I do?

SPEAKER_00 1:04

Yeah, what would or what would you do, or what do your friends do, or is it correct? Is it not correct?

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Like, have you seen the show? Um, it's a show, it's called actually what what will you do? Is it it's on TV? Yeah, you haven't seen it. That's funny. Um, I forgot the name of the host, but they put hidden cameras in restaurants and different places, and they put situations where uh customers being super rude to a-I've seen it. Then they wanna like they wanna see what the people around them, how they react. Like they come and they say, Hey, don't treat the server like that. Or and every time I see that show, I'm always like, Oh my god, I think I would be a hit because I am the one that's gonna be getting up and doing something about it. Oh I would do something about it, which is not always the way to go, but especially in today's world. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But when you came with this idea, I I said, Oh, I get to play with it.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Maybe that's where I got it subconsciously. I was like, Darlene, let's do a what would you do Wednesday since our our our show you know comes out on Wednesdays. But I think it's cool because I feel that moving forward, we can, when we get on social media and all that, we can actually do some polls, which we've been doing. Um, actually, we did this poll about this particular topic that we're gonna talk about today. We did it and we got a lot of feedback from other moms, which we'll get into and we'll start, you know, reading the comments and all that. But we want to do this kind of like interactive show because it's just interesting to see how different people's uh perceptions are on certain things. And again, yeah, there's so many different opinions. I didn't get from the responses that we got, and we got maybe about 30 comments or 40 comments on the whole thing. Everybody had something different, and it opens my eyes to realize that sometimes what I think is the truth or the way that it's supposed to be, and I think maybe you're thinking this way is not even the case. It's not even the case. So sorry if you hear like an airplane uh, you know, in our thing, it was passing by. It was a helicopter. But yeah, I think it's interesting. This this topic is one that actually Darlene sent to me, and she sent me this uh video of this mom on Instagram, and she's like, I want you to listen to this. And as I'm hearing it, the mom is basically getting on and saying, You guys are doing it wrong. I mean, she didn't say it in those words, but she was she has perfect English.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

Perfect. So we're talking about somebody that has no problem speaking English, but and and it was so interesting, and I had to send it to you because that's something that happens to us because we're bilingual, and it happens a lot.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

I'm like, oh, should I switch?

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Wait, oh, and and I even do it at home with her. She was talking, going from like changing your Spanish because she talks to her kids in Spanish. She wants her kids to be predominantly, you know, bilingual for real, not, you know, get caught up in the whole thing here in the system here. Because once you go to school here, once you start listening to shows or watching TV in English, it's true. Your kids start to kind of take English as their first language and they start to forget about Spanish. And I have seen that. I've seen that with a lot of friends. There's even friends of mine that they're fully bilingual and their kids do not speak Spanish, right? So I understand where she's coming from with it, saying, I do not change the language, even if my mother-in-law and father-in-law do not speak Spanish, I will not do it. I won't.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

She's her husband, I believe, is only speaks English. Only speaks English. Yeah, and she So it is very interesting because she again has perfect English, but she chooses to speak Spanish, even around her husband and in-laws that don't speak Spanish.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

And I am all for teaching your kids Spanish at home. Now I am more the Spanglish. I was, I've always been in my household. I speak English. My husband speaks to them in Spanish, and I throw in my Spanish phrases and words. My Spanglish. I am completely 100% Spanglish. But is it rude? You know, I don't know. And maybe it's a generation thing. Maybe I I'm gonna tell you how I took this because I think everybody took it a little bit different in the comments that I was reading. Um for me, I think of my family and the way that I was raised was with the older generations in my family, they do not speak English. So it's it's different. They speak Spanish and they don't speak English. So then when I speak to my kids in English around them, even around Benjamin's family, everybody says, habla en español, habla en español, and I I and because I feel that it's rude, which this mom is saying, This is not rude. This is how we speak. Um, I will change because I've always been told, hey, change because you've got other people around you, and it's rude to speak in English when they only speak Spanish.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

But in this case, I feel that they're not telling you habale en español just so they could understand it. They're saying it because I get that a lot. Like, don't stop speaking Spanish to her. It's because they don't want their grandkids to not have the Spanish, like to correct, correct. I think I don't think it's because, oh, I don't understand what you're saying, but it's more like, wait, speak to them in Spanish.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

We don't want them to lose the no, but I think I've had it in my particular case, in my setting with the people that I have around me, I've had it both. I feel like some have said it yes, like don't don't keep talking to them only in English and then just throw your Spanish words in there. Get them to be fully bilingual because obviously it's gonna help them later in life to have both languages. Um, and obviously it's a cultural thing. You know, their dad is Colombian, I have my dad is from Cuba, my mom is from Spain. Like, let's keep the Spanish flowing so that they don't lose it. But then on another side of it, I do feel that I have been told, like, when there is the older generation around me, like no season, that's rude. Like, don't be rude. They don't understand what you're talking about. So if you're gonna talk to your kids and they're around, like deal on español so that they understand. It's the same thing at the end of the day. You're changing your way of speaking kind of to, you know, uh, to please them.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

Um and it's interesting that you're saying about the in-laws because reading the comments under the post that we did, a lot of people were talking about the in-laws. We do it for the in-laws. And I don't think in my case, I don't think it's bad to switch so the in-laws, the older people, the elders can understand. It's like, why not? You know, and why not give them that? Listen to your grandkids speaking Spanish, sure. But what about in a situation, let's say you're at a at a friend's birthday party party and you're trying to talk to your kids, like, hey, venta cambiar la ropa, let's change to go in the pool or something. And and I'm very specific with the examples because it's happened to me that I'm with Luna y le estoy hablando Spanyol, and oh my god, wait, they don't speak Spanish. Let me switch. And she switches with me.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

But do you think it's because you do it because it's rude? You feel you're being rude?

SPEAKER_01 8:09

I do it because I feel that I'm being rude. But to be honest, after reading, go seeing the post, yeah, and the comments. And the comments, now I'm starting to think like maybe it's not rude. It's just the way I speak to my child, and nobody has a right to tell me how to do it.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

So And it's true because you do it not because of you, you do it for other people. Yeah, you do it for other people thinking, oh my god, they're probably thinking that I'm being rude, and I don't want them to think that I'm saying something, you know, about them or something. That's something I saw in the comments. I saw some people, actually, a lot of people, a handful of people. I didn't read all of them. I looked at the post of the person that initially posted this, or that we saw that initially posted this, and then we did our own little poll on TikTok and we got like all this different feedback. And there were some people saying, Yeah, well, I uh don't speak Spanish. In this case, it was a Spanish thing. I don't speak Spanish, and sometimes I think people may feel that they're being talked about. But I I kind of feel like what you know, you're I guess it's the setting that you're in. If you're in somebody's like household that is your friend, you know, I mean, how are you gonna think that you're talking about them?

SPEAKER_01 9:17

If you're in the Walmart, then you don't care.

SPEAKER_00 9:20

Um that's different, that's different.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

I don't know. I mean, and it's interesting because most of the people said that it is not rude. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

Most of the people on the poll said, Oh no, it's not rude, like it's totally fine. Uh, there were um some um saying it happens all the time. I don't speak Spanish and they do it, and I don't think anything of it. And one thing that kind of made me switch that, that um that thought is a pensamiento de que puede ser rudo, is my friend Masami. She's Japanese, so and I think it's beautiful because it's all the time like she'll be talking to her daughter in Japanese. Yeah, her daughter is the same age as Luna, she's seven, and all I'm thinking is wow, like this girl, like the language, first of all, it's beautiful, and it's completely different, it's completely different, and I hear her speaking Japanese, and they do it in front of me. And I remember the first few times I was like, maybe for a slight second, I thought, that's rude. I don't understand what they're saying, and then I thought it's she's not talking to me, so I don't need to be listening to what they're saying to each other. Between each other, yeah. Like, don't be so nosy, darling. And now, and after that, I just embrace it and I'm like, please teach Luna some Japanese and she'll teach you Spanish, and and they do to each other, and it's so cute. But now I hear them speak and I don't know what they're talking about, but I love it. I'm like, even if you're saying something bad about me, it sounds like it sounds so pretty, it sounds beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

You know, it's funny, you're saying that, and I have a friend that she's from uh from Lebanon, and the kids are always together, whether it's in Jiu Jitsu or whether we go to a park or whatever, and she she speaks perfect English, um, but obviously she speaks Arabic to her to her son. And so I've never, the times that we have hung out, that she's talking to her son in Arabic, I've never actually, it's very curious for me. Like I listen to the words and I'm like, so what does that mean? Like it's for me, for me, I love it. And on top of that, one of my sons, which is like the the one that he, you know, Jacob is very, very into languages. He even gets on Duolingo and he wants to learn this and he wants to learn that. He's like, Mommy, I'm gonna learn Arabic. And he read some words and he started learning some words, and he goes to my friend Jennifer to let her know the words that he's learning. And I love that. I love the the thing of wanting to learn. And I never took it once in my mind, to be honest with you, I never took it as that's rude. I don't know. For me, I never took it as rude, but I have been taught, at least in my setting and with my people, that yes, like especially, and I don't know if it's a courtesy thing in my case, more for the older generation because it's respect for your elders. Mention this. Maybe it's not so much about the language, maybe it's more like you have this, you know, 80-year-old uh tia sitting there and she doesn't speak uh uh English. And don't say jale favor and switch over so that she understands.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Yeah. Now, and this has happened when it's unrelated to the kids. There's no kids there, but if you're on a dinner date and it's let's say four or five couples, and one of them is American, everybody else speaks Spanish. So obviously, I do feel that it's very rude in that case to be on a table like hablando espanol and leaving that person out. Like, it's okay, it doesn't matter. It's like, well, no, yeah. Come on, it's that I feel like it's a good thing. But it's different.

SPEAKER_00 12:51

That's different though. I think you see that you see, so this thing that this mom put out, I think she was more geared toward how she speaks with her kids, right? Because this was more geared toward I want I want my kids to continue the language. Her parents don't speak English, her parents speak Spanish. So here we go. Her husband uh is English, her family is Spanish, but then both of them both uh uh she speaks both. So she's like the in-between, right? And she doesn't switch it up. But for her family, she speaks Spanish because her parents speak Spanish. I don't know, I don't know. It's it's I I don't know, I don't think it's rude.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

I at times I feel that it's not on purpose either. Like we even when we're talking, like we just switch. Same thing happens with Luna, and I'm trying to be more conscious about her. Her Spanglish is insane. Is it? Oh my gosh. So she switches faster, it's crazy, and then I'm like, oh man, I did that to her, and I'm like, is that good? Is that bad? But maybe you know, we're in Miami, you know, we're in South Florida, so it's very common to have so many people from all over countries and the Spanish and the English and uh and then you also have young people that move to the States and they don't want to learn English, and then they all speak Spanish. I have my own thoughts about that. But I don't know, like it's just sometimes we don't even do it on purpose, like it just happens. Like when I'm talking to Luna, suddenly we go from English to Spanish, English to Spanish, and I'm like, oh my god, what did I do to her? But it's not it's not on purpose, it just happens. We do that, we go from English to Spanish. Um, but even in the house, you know, like you were saying, they always tell us like speak to them in Spanish in La Casa, but even in the house, I keep I suddenly I'm speaking to her all English, and I'm like, wait, what am I doing?

SPEAKER_00 14:43

And then Yeah, but her dad speaks to her in Spanish.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

Yeah, and then I go all Spanish and then she answers in English, and it's it's a mess. And let me tell you, I have two siblings, and everybody's like, oh my god, your brother and your sister have no accent, and you have all the accent in the world. But when I was little, I went to an all English school, but this was in Puerto Rico, so outside and with my friends, it's in Spanish. We're studying in English, and in my house, it was a mix of Manhattan with the Bronx. My parents from New York, New York Ricans, New York Rican, and so and then they would always speak English in my house, and my siblings would answer in English, and I would always I was the rebel, and I would be like, No, yo voy a hablar espanhol porque yo estoy in Puerto Rico. Oh my god, no, so I was the opposite, I was a rebel. So fast forward to now, they have no accent, and this is me. And people are always like, wait, why is it that your siblings don't have an accent and you do, and my parents are because she was a rebel and she refused, and she says she's in Puerto Rico, so she's gonna speak only Spanish. But there's no harm in having your kids learn more than one language. No, I think. And if they switch from one to the other, I mean, at first I thought that it was bad. Like when they're starting to talk, they say the kids that are listening to both languages at home or get confused. They're gonna get confused and they're gonna be delayed. Let me tell you, for me, BS. Because with Luna ever since she was born, it's Spanish, English, Spanish, English, and thank God she's super, super, super in school, and we just got the grades, you know, this month, and I'm super proud, and she's over and above in in all the subjects, including reading. And I put her to read also Spanish. I'm trying to teach her, and I don't feel like it's affecting them. I think that's a lie. What you always hear, like, I only choose one language.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

So I'm gonna tell you something about that because obviously you have Luna, I've got Jacob and Noah. When I went back to work, my my mother-in-law does not speak English, okay? She he went to go, you know, be with them for like, I don't know, when I was working. Like it was like four months, right? Of her taking care of them. And my mom does not speak English, my dad does not speak English. They speak it, but that's they don't speak that, like, that's not their language. They speak Spanish. Everybody except for me is the only one that would speak predominantly English. Okay. And Noah, not Noah, I'm sorry, Jacob came out of there speaking perfect Spanish. I'm talking about perfect. This was a two-year-old that would walk around. He sounded like an old little man. He'd go with my parents to, let's say, get coffee at La Carreta or Sergio's or whatever, and he was in La Vantana saying, un cafecito, this and that. Like he was at two at two. If I if I could find videos, guys, it was impressionante because he actually spoke very good Spanish. What happened? Lo and behold, he gets into school. I have Noah, and Noah does not want to speak Spanish. Okay. Noah wants to do what his brother is doing now. His brother is watching TV in English. He is uh picking up more English because he's going to school. So what happened? Noah's Spanish is not the best Spanish. So this is where I understand where this mom comes on to this reel saying, I don't change, I think she has two kids or whatever. I don't change it. I speak Spanish, this and that. I understand it because if she starts speaking to them only in English, and now they're both going to school and it's all in English, and they're writing in English, and then she's, you know, talking, they're talking only to the grandparents in English, they will eventually start to lose it. And I noticed that with Jacob. Jacob was full Spanish, amazing. And I'm not saying he doesn't speak Spanish, he does, he understands it fully, but I realize that he's having a harder time now, como si dice, thinking what he's gonna say in Spanish sometimes. No sé how to explain it. Like he's losing it a little bit, you know what I mean? And and I and and we try to say, no, no, no, vamos a hablar in espanhol because he understands it fully with his grandparents, uh, his his uh uh Benjamin side mostly. It's no hablame espanol because they don't speak the English, right? They understand it a little bit, but they don't speak it. My parents, he can get away with it because they speak more English, but it's not that they use it. It's a little bit uh I can understand. I can understand where she came out saying, I'm not gonna switch it, and I'm not looking at it on a rude side, I'm looking at it like I don't want to do disservice to my kids because they're gonna think now that Spanish is not even like an importance. It's not important. And that's yeah, and I understand, I understand where she's coming from.

SPEAKER_01 19:19

Yeah, you have to normalize it because a lot of kids could be, oh, they could associate Spanish or what your language of your country, if you're listening from other countries, um, they could see it as, oh, that's for the old people. They will associate. I only speak Spanish with my grandparents, and then or at home, so they when they get older, they could see it as it's not that cool. Correct. And and it's also when you say that Jacob had the Spanish and then he started watching TV in English, and going to school, I think that's where I have to. I'm gonna give myself credit. When I remember playing um all these shows on Netflix, the ones that she would watch as a little girl, like in her little seat, and I would put them in Spanish.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

But when he got to school, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

So it was more in school.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

In school, now everything is English, you're not teaching them like Spanish is probably like once a week, every so often, and then they change to art, and it's not all the time, it's not consistent. So once he got to school, and all his friends now are watching certain shows, and those shows are in English, what happens? They start to go with just the English. And so mi suegro would say, Hablale en español, talk to them in Spanish. And so I have this is on another kind of I guess it's not related exactly to what this mom was talking about, but you have friends that speak Spanish perfect, but they never took the time to get their kids to speak Spanish. And I have this in my family. I have uh, you know, a couple in my family that are perfect in Spanish. That's their main language, but their kids, nada. It was never, and again, they never chose to teach them that, you know.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

For example, in the case of my sister, um, she speaks with Joey more English. Because he speaks more English and Spanish. And he regrets it. He's like, you know, I don't like that we didn't do more Spanish at home. And I'm like, but you guys speak English to each other. So, and so and now the with the grandkids, they're like, okay, we gotta like try to like implement more the Spanish. But a lot of couples, if one of them doesn't speak English, uh, I mean Spanish, the wife or the husband is gonna, you know, switch. So I my props to this woman who her husband doesn't speak the language, and she's still speaking Spanish to the kids. Yeah, and what I was gonna say um about the TV if you have any kids out there that they're watching TV, that they're in the early years, um, switch it. But Netflix, I remember this show Little Baby Bum. We would put everything in Spanish, uh, and by The way all my life I've been so I've hated all the movies when la dobla in Espanol.

SPEAKER_00 22:06

Oh my god, the double talk, it's horrible.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

I can't.

SPEAKER_00 22:08

Yeah, it's horrible.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

I can't. Fabiana is like, well, in Colombia, that's what we watch. And I'm like, I can't. I I rather I like the language of origin. But so but for Luna, I did I switch it. There's another show called Canticos. Just trying to put like Spanish, Spanish, Spanish. And to be honest, when I think about like she speaks perfect Spanish and all that, and now she's reading it, I feel that a lot has to do with all the shows that she would watch in her early years when I would switch it to Spanish.

SPEAKER_00 22:40

Well, we because we think, like, for instance, for for me, I we it well, uh uh I'm like talking, I'm oh sorry, my brain. That was a that was that's another language right there. That was like a glitch, a glitch in my computer here. I had a glitch. Sorry, guys. Um, what I was saying is exactly the the predominantly in my area, like in my family and on my suegro and all that, everybody is Spanish. I'm the only one that will talk to them in English and my sister as well. So for me, when they were like, hey, no, pero you know, talk to them in Spanish, I'm like, but they have it all over the place. They do, and I do, and I do bring in my Spanish words and they understand it. And I do think it's important for them to have it. I do. I'm not that I'm not, I am not, and I have friends that don't care to teach uh their kids the uh the two languages, even if if Spanish is predominantly their language that they learned growing up or their first language, they don't care if their kids speak it or not. You know, and and there's there's people like that, and that's fine. You do you, right? But for me, I do want my kids to have the Spanish. I think having the dual language or being trilingual, if you have that in you. Like, for instance, my friend that's from Lebanon, her husband has Venezuelan in him. They're both from Lebanon, but his mother is Venezuelan. And she goes to me, I want uh Mateo to learn Spanish. I want him to learn Spanish. Where can I put him in so that he has Spanish, English, and Arabic? It's amazing when you are trilingual or when you are able to have all those languages and you're sponging it in as a kid. Uh, again, I don't think this is what that mom particularly was talking about, but I think there's so many benefits to having all these different things, especially when you get older, when you go get a job, uh when you go traveling, you know what I mean? You you're able to communicate with different people. Languages and culture and all these things is is a beautiful thing to have.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

And the earlier the better.

SPEAKER_00 24:25

Yeah. The earlier it definitely the better. Because you sponge it.

unknown 24:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:29

You you you you retain everything when you're that age. A la edad has 40 something, I can't even sponge sometimes certain things, you know?

SPEAKER_01 24:37

When we went to go to Paris when we went two years ago, um, I remember like the last month I was trying because it was a last minute trip, so that I had like a month to just try to learn, try to learn, try, and I was so excited. And we were we got to France and we get like in the journey? Bonjour, uh bonjour, oh bonjour, whatever. And I had like uh Sava Patrevian. Okay, I hope nobody you massacred that. I'm sorry, you massacred that. I just did. I'm I never said I passed the test, but no, I thought I had like the the basics, so I got an ooh and I started throwing all the sentences there. And he's looking at me and I'm like, Oh, I'm so sorry. Because they say if you go to France, don't speak it. He looked at you and he was like, I don't know what you're trying to say, miss, but no, I did good, but then I by the second day I completely forgot. Luna remembered a little bit more, and she's so interested in learning other languages. Languages, but and but at an early age is the perfect. So if your language of your country is Spanish or it's oh Portuguese, whatever it is, just it's important to have that they know because it is gonna benefit them at the end of the day for sure. There's nothing, nothing, why take that away from them? But also cut yourself some slack. Us, we think bilingual, so when we're switching like that, that we can't be like, oh, I'm gonna harm my kid either.

SPEAKER_00 26:10

I realize, oh, so wait, I want to bring another like scenario. Sorry, another little story. Benjamin, because he's predominantly Spanish, he's from Colombia, sometimes he'll see me talking to, let's say, a customer. Or somebody will come and talk to me, I don't know, at a restaurant. And usually, and this is me, I think this is more of a subconscious thing that I do because I feel people stereotype me. They do. People look at me and they don't think I speak Spanish. That's the truth. They think I'm a gringa, you know? So I will sit at a restaurant and I'll see that the lady is speaking Spanish to the other table, and then she'll come over to our table, she'll look at me and she'll go, Ah, and I could see that they're trying to like, you know, appease me by talking in English because they don't think I speak Spanish. And then I'll go and I'll speak Spanish, but I think it's more maybe of an ego thing. I do it to say I speak Spanish. You know what I mean? Like it's not, I might have a gringa face, but I do speak Spanish. And then Benjamin, when the waitress will walk away, he'll go, you know, that's rude. You shouldn't do that. And I just don't understand why he says that. Why? He says they're stuck they're talking to you in English. Why do you, why do you switch it? Why do you switch it up?

SPEAKER_01 27:12

Oh, well, maybe you want to practice English and you're killing it for her.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

I don't, but I mean and I don't do it to be rude. I do it more like to say, hey, you don't have to struggle to talk to me. I do speak Spanish. You know what I mean? Like, I do, and he's like, eso mala, mala. I don't know what he told me one day. He said, like, that's like that's not correct, like you shouldn't do that. They're talking to you in English, stay in English.

SPEAKER_01 27:33

What would you do?

SPEAKER_00 27:34

Yeah, what would you do Wednesdays? Seriously. Well, being on the what would you do? Guys, I want to read you.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

But sometimes, sometimes you feel like you're doing them a favor because for example, sometimes you see them like uh struggling. Again, we're in South Florida. So over here, it's a lot of Spanish-speaking people. A lot of people don't know English and they struggle. And when you see them struggling, it's like, let me help them out. And le hablo en español, and they're like, oh, thank you. You speak Spanish. You know, so I in that case it's not rude. Where's Benji? Let's talk to Benji.

SPEAKER_00 28:06

Oh, wait, hold on. Hold on, hold on. You just brought another thing to my attention, being that we are in South Florida, okay? If you guys are from South Florida or you've ever heard of Hayalia, okay? Hayaliah supermarket. No, I'm just kidding. Hayalia 305, okay? I was born and raised in the area, guys. Epa Hayalia, Miami Lakes.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

It's all different Spanish right there.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

It is a very different Spanish, okay? It's very mixed. But, anyways, long story short, if you've ever gone to 49th Street in Hyalia, okay, there is a mall called Westland Mall.

SPEAKER_01 28:39

Oh, I love that mall.

SPEAKER_00 28:40

Oh, no, sorry, I don't step foot in there anymore. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 28:46

Do you? Really? No, I mean, I don't step foot in there anymore just because it drives me nuts with the traffic and whatever. Anyways, I haven't been there in a very long time.

SPEAKER_01 28:55

It's not inside the mall.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

No, but esa 49 is sorry, sorry. But okay, so guys, I went one day, I never, never forget. This was when Berdines were still around. Not Macy's, but Berdines, before Berdines became Macy's. So Berdines was around, okay, and Berdines was Macy's. Berdines became Macy's later. Okay, and maybe I am older than you or what? You don't remember Birdines?

SPEAKER_01 29:19

No.

SPEAKER_00 29:20

Oh, and okay. For those of you that remember Berdines B-U-R-D-I-N-E-S Birdines. And it had like a little tree logo, whatever. Eso creo que Macy's lo compr, okay, and it became Macy's after. So, anyways, lo and behold, I remember going to the mall, and because it's hyaliah, and listen, and hyalia, everybody knows they make fun of Hyalia. There's so many memes going around about Hyalia. Everybody speaks Spanish. It's your Cubans, it's this, it's that. I get to the mall, I see this lady come, and it's just habit. I said, Ah, yeah, don't you publish her whatever? I spoke to her in Spanish. She looked at me dead in the eyes like that, and she goes, I don't speak Spanish. I guess she was very You're in the wrong place. Yes. And I didn't do it to be rude or anything. I just really just, you know, guys, if you've been to Hyalia, you know, and if you've been to 49th Street, Westland Mall, it's everybody there.

SPEAKER_01 30:09

It's like, I said, it is, it is like that.

SPEAKER_00 30:17

It is like that. It is, it is, it is what it is. So I love Hyalia. Yeah, by the way. I love all my people, okay? Pero, anyways, this lady got very bothered by it. And I said to myself, oh my God, did I offend her? Because she looked at me with a bad face and she goes, I don't speak Spanish. And I said to her, Oh my god, miss, I'm so sorry. I'm just so used to coming here, and everybody expects me to speak Spanish. And it's maybe, again, we're going off topic, but still in topic. Maybe there is something rude. It's kind of like if I go to Colombia and I expect people to speak English.

SPEAKER_01 30:50

Okay. Okay, this is a different. This is a whole different topic and something that's actually happening. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 30:57

Yes. I don't want to offend anybody. I am like, I I could go between Spanish, English, I could give three shits, right? But I do feel like she had a point. Now I look back on it and I say, you know what? What makes me automatically think that I'm here in the Florida, I don't want to get into politics again and and this and that and and what's right or wrong. But we, you know, what makes me think that we are in the middle of Florida, which should be, which Florida's not, I don't, I don't know, guys. Florida's its own thing. Florida is its own thing. It's it's it it's it is its own thing. And that I automatically assume that she speaks Spanish. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 31:36

Let me tell you what could have happened there is probably she's sick and tired of people coming to her speaking Spanish. But let me tell you something, lady. You are absolutely in the wrong place if you don't want that happening. No, it's true. Because we're talking about 99.9% of the population there speaks Spanish. They can speak English, but it's Spanish. So go move to Boca and go to another uh, yeah, it's true, it's true. Because come on, it's true.

SPEAKER_00 32:08

Yeah, it's true. And and and then I started, but I had to analyze it because I said to myself, why would she be like so bothered about it? And I said, I tried to put myself in her shoes, but you are absolutely right. If you in this particular case, if you know, it's like me going to Alabama, and I'm gonna sit there and I'm gonna get bothered that our people are talking to me in I don't know, English, you know what I mean? Because I want them to speak in Spanish. It's it doesn't work like that, you know?

SPEAKER_01 32:32

That's uh it's in Puerto Rico. It just happened, I believe, two months ago. Uh, in this restaurant in Fajardo, which Fajardo, it's right by the rainforest, and you have Luquillo, and it's on the east side, like 45 minutes away from the capital. I don't know why I'm going all with all the information. But anyway, there's this restaurant, it's kind of a tourist area just because of a lot of tourists come to Fajardo because of the rainforest and all that. But still, these two ladies started insulting some of the employees and there's video because they were not speaking English, and they're like, This is America, but isn't Puerto Rico part of the United States? So speak English, and they were being so rude to them, and they were like, Yeah, but the first language in Puerto Rico is Spanish, but still, like, don't be rude, like they're talking to you in English to get your order. They were upset that they were talking among themselves by the bar or I don't know where.

SPEAKER_00 33:34

In Spanish.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

In Spanish, and it had nothing to do with them. I gotta show you that video. I gotta show you that video, and they were at the bar and well, it was all over the news. They had to ask the ladies to leave, and we're talking about these women were like in the 60s, 70s, and and that happened. It happens a lot, and it happens a lot in Puerto Rico because they're like, wait, you know, it's in this part of uh the United States, this is America, why? And it's just so much ignorance, and there's so much miseducation with Puerto Rico. Like, we are part of the United States, but our first language is Spanish, and our culture is very much alive over there, you know?

SPEAKER_00 34:12

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

So anyway, got it.

SPEAKER_00 34:16

No, but it's it's true, it's true. And and and but going back, I guess, let's going back onto what this mom was saying. I think again, her whole point was she wants her kids to be bilingual, she's not gonna stop doing that. And people could think it's rude or whatever, but she's not gonna be intimidated by people making her feel rude to switch what she feels is important for her kids. So I guess it's all the way that you that you look at it. And I had gone on and I said to Darlene, I'm gonna go on to our TikTok because there's a lot more, you know, a lot of engagement on there. I said, I'm gonna put a little poll and I'm gonna see what these other parents or other moms are saying. And the funny part is that the most American ones, the ones that only speak English, were like, I don't think it's rude. They were the ones that are. And and I do it, if I ever do that, I do it more to appease them because I don't I think that they're thinking it's rude. And these people are like, no, it's not rude. I don't care. Continue speaking in in Spanish. Now, I do understand in your setting, you go out to dinner, a couple's dinner, let's say, or a friend's dinner, and one person there is predominantly English and everybody else is speaking in Spanish, and that person feels left out. I will feel the need to say, hey, the eso, and like let's let's switch it up. Me entiende, because that person doesn't understand. It happened to me.

SPEAKER_01 35:29

Assess it, yeah. I think it's no when to and when not to.

SPEAKER_00 35:33

You know, I it that being said, I remember for us in our it here. I I was working at a or I've I've I'm associated with a furniture place, high-end furniture place, guys, if you need furnishings. Uh but uh I've I've always I've been with them for a very long time. They are a lot of them are Colombians, a lot of them are Hispanic, and our meetings would be done in Spanish. Our meetings are in Spanish, okay? We're here in something about that. I had one really good friend that she left that she is American, didn't speak any Spanish. And I remember I would say, we have to change our meetings. Like we are in, you know, we are in Florida, yes, but you know, we should do our meetings in English. We had to switch things around. It's very, it's very funny because South Florida is is different. It's the memes that you see going around, it is true. Especially, you know, Miami, you know, Miami area.

SPEAKER_01 36:22

And before we go in the comments, um, now that we are saying South Florida and the Spanish, this is one thing that a lot of people don't know. A lot of Americans probably don't know either. It can be very hard, even if we all speak Spanish. We are from Puerto Rico, Cuba, Colombia, uh, Venezuela, Argentina, uh, Mexico, Mexico. So a lot of words that, for example, we have in Puerto Rico can be very offensive in other countries. And the other way around. Like the word bichos. Bichos in Mexico and in other places is insects. In Puerto Rico, bicho is the man's genitalia. Genitalia. Exactly. So the joke is like for my wedding, uh, Fabian's cousin from Colombia, she gets in the cab and she goes, Oh my god, esta bicho me está matando. And you were like that, and they were laughing because they're like, she basically said, All these dicks are driving me crazy. Oh my god, and she was in the cab, and she was getting into a cab with her husband and her mother-in-law and kids, and the mother-in-law, no, because she used to live in New York, so she understands more. Oh, and she knows a lot of Puerto Ricans, so she knows a little bit more, and she just stayed, she didn't say anything. And then when they left, she's like, You know what you just said in the car? That the dicks in Puerto Rico are driving you crazy.

SPEAKER_00 37:49

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 37:50

So that's another thing, like language barriers, I want to say, and or differ differences, differences. For example, and one thing, I since I moved to LA, this was you know, I lived in LA 18 years on and off before coming back here. And I had to change so many things that I would say in Puerto Rican Spanish, little things, uh, like jugo de china for orange juice, it's jugo de naranja. And in Puerto Rico we call it jugo de china. So I remember going to Mexico one time and I'm like, I want jugo de China. And they're like, Wow. There's no jugo de China. They were thinking I was asking for Chinese juice. I know. And you're like, what is Chinese juice? Puerto Rico is China, it's orange. So when I moved to the mainland, I was like, okay, so I started jugo de naranja, jugo de naranja, and then if I wanted beans, frijoles, narabichuela, and we say guagua to the buses. Yeah, I say guagua too. In Spanish, you have to say booze, because if you say guagua, they're like, huh? So there are these things that I had to change. And now I remember doing the episode a couple of weeks back when you get to a four- your 40s, you're kind of like, I don't give a shit anymore. I'm yeah, I'm just gonna say what I need to say and say it the way being in my 40s and then post uh Bad Bunny's performance and the Super Bowl and teaching people that there's a beautiful island that is called Puerto Rico and we have our own language. After that happened, I was like, you know what? Because I have most of my friends here, they're not even from Puerto Rico. And if you're Puerto Rican and you live in South Miami, call me because I need more of you. But I'm surrounded by Colombians and Venezuelans and Argentinians, and I remember after this whole bad bunny thing, I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna stay true to myself. And from now on, I'm gonna say, quiero arroz con habichuela y quiero un jugo de china y me voy a montar en la guagua. But let me tell you something. I'll explain to you. But I'm still done trying to adapt my Spanish words that I grew up with because of oh no, now the majority of the people, this is but can I tell you something?

SPEAKER_00 39:59

I love that. I feel it's such a beautiful thing. Like, for instance, if I was working at a restaurant and you come in and you say to me, quiero habichuela, and I don't understand, I'd be like, oh my God, tell me more. Like, what do you mean, habichuela? What does that mean to you? I think it's beautiful to learn what other people's languages say and so on. And for our kids, going back to our kids, I think it's amazing. But it's in her roots, and I think it's beautiful to keep your roots. Why do you need to change that? You know what I mean? Why do you need to change the way that you talk? Because maybe you're I don't know. And and if people want to learn, I think that's what's beautiful. The diversity of learning other people's languages, being true to who you are, and not taking offense. Because I can understand some people in the comments of all this were like, oh, I don't know. Sometimes people could think that, you know, the people are talking about them. But that's something else. I think that's you. That's a complex. That's maybe a complex, yeah. Depending on what setting you are in, right? You know, if you're talking to your kids and you're over there and you think that they're talking about you, come on, dude. Come on. Like that's where you kind of say, let it go. Let it go. But going to back to this mom, I want to read you guys when I put on the uh TikTok, I had done the excuse this video. Um, I want to go on to this thing. Hold on. I put this topic and I asked if it's rude or not. And it's funny because I put the poll and then I had like 58%. Like, do you agree with this mom that says like you shouldn't? And 58% said, Yes, I agree.

SPEAKER_01 41:30

And then 40 agreements that you shouldn't switch.

SPEAKER_00 41:33

That they agree with her. Like, no, I'm not gonna switch. It doesn't offend me.

SPEAKER_01 41:36

It's not that far it's 50?

SPEAKER_00 41:38

58% from the people that did it, and I think there was about 30 people that voted, right? And then uh 42% that said, like, no, I feel like it's it's rude. And we'll see why. So we had like uh one person say, not rude, we shouldn't have to change who we are for anyone, especially loved ones. Like if this is the way you speak, it's the way that you speak, right? But I guess it's in the context how you see it, right? Uh other people said, I don't think it's rude, but I also don't think it makes it not important to switch it up so others are aware. And then one person put, I don't speak Spanish, but I don't think it's rude. You know, like if you continue to speak in Spanish. Another person, not rude, not rude. Another one put uh said it's important that her kids learn Spanish, but I do think it's a little rude not to give their kids the skills to communicate with everyone in their lives.

unknown 42:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:28

You know, to be able to go. Listen, it was very kind of like mixed. Yeah, it's I see that it's mixed. It's kind of a mixed thing, and I guess it's kind of what you, you know, how you've been brought up or what you've been told. Again, on my end, I I do it more so on the opposite end. I I will switch from English to Spanish, and I do it more to appease the older generation out of a courtesy thing. You know, it's courtesy and and and respect your elders' kind of mentality that I come from again. I'm 45, I'm not 20, you know, things were different when I was growing up, things keep evolving, but I do feel it's important to keep your kids with the language, keep the culture in them, even if they're not being born and raised where you were born and raised, you know?

SPEAKER_01 43:10

The more you give to them, the better. At the end, this is all gonna help them. It's not gonna confuse them. Again, I've always heard that it could confuse them, and I can say right now, she is doing great at school, amazing grades, and we're talking about we teach her both Spanish and English. I haven't seen her atrasarse, like go back in her reading or writing in English because we also do Spanish. Not at all, not at all. And again, you know, try to make it fun for them. If don't don't make it seem like their language of your parents' country, uh it's only for your parents or for old people. Make it fun for them so they can grow up with that and being proud of that.

SPEAKER_00 44:00

Yeah, then you can take them. I mean, I was born and raised here, but for instance, my kids, uh, you know, we're gonna be going to Colombia soon. They can go to Colombia and feel like, oh, I'm part of, I'm part of this. Although, for sure, because it's happened to me, I remember going to Colombia and again, they were like, ah, la gringa, la gringa. And I and the first time I went.

SPEAKER_01 44:18

I don't like that word.

SPEAKER_00 44:18

But that's what they would say. They would say la gringa. That's that's the way that and I'm not gonna take offense to it, you know.

SPEAKER_01 44:23

I was like, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 44:24

No, because I be I'll tell you what happened for me. The first time I went to Colombia, for me, I took it more like, what do you mean la gringa? Like I speak Spanish, but for them, I'm the gringa because I am from the from the states. I said, I'm not gonna take this as an insult. Like, I I speak Spanish, you know, and they're like, it doesn't mean like that. It means like you're not from here, you're the gringa from outside. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know, whatever. I was like, screw it, I don't care. Everybody has their different shit, you know. But, anyways, that being said, this is what would you do Wednesdays at mama's playground. We'll be doing this once a month, and we will do polls. We want to get like people's insights, we want to know what everybody else is thinking. It's so nice to hear other people's uh, you know, advice or other people's opinions because not just our own.

SPEAKER_01 45:06

Give a shout out to one of those opinions right now. To one of the okay, so I'm gonna do give me one of the of them.

SPEAKER_00 45:12

Okay, hold on. You guys are gonna hear me talking in the background. So I do want to give out a shout-out to it said Sid. Her name was Sid. I don't know. This is on TikTok. She's the one that put it is important that her kids learn Spanish, but I do think it's a little rude not to give their kids the skills to communicate with everyone in their lives. Sid, I believe that. I do, I do like that as well. And for the ones that said it's not rude, same. Listen, to each their own, to each their own. You know, if you're not doing it with malintent, there is worse things happening in this world right now.

SPEAKER_01 45:49

They're talking about me. No, they're just bilingual.

SPEAKER_00 45:53

Yeah. So keep it real, keep it true, and don't hurt anybody. That's it. Don't do things to to spite anybody, but keep true to yourself. That's what we're gonna leave you with.

SPEAKER_01 46:06

Bye. Ciao. Adios.